Elliot and Isabel

Did I miss something? What the h.e. double-hockey-sticks is with college girls and guys and electro music? They seem to really love it. I think dubstep is the most annoying thing since the cancellation of Dirty Sexy Money, but college. kids. f*cking. love. dubstep. They love pacifiers and Miami and Vegas and Avicii and American Apparel singlets and dirty converse shoes and glittery eye make-up and designer drugs. But that’s cool. That’s great for electronic artists. They are the new rock stars, officially. And that is all I really have to say  right now.

Please look at this. I believe this is Tom Guinness, Daphne’s half-brother. He is HOT. I am pretty sure he does not like dubstep.

-Elliot

Here today on this fine weekend is a post on words. I am sharing words with you, friends. Words with friends. Writing, about writing.

A cliche, mayhaps? A bore reserved only for academics who are likely already too buried in their own thoughts to make any real sense, you may guess? Well kind of. Insert-higher-being here only knows that, I too, am oftentimes so wrapped up in my own head that, I also, may not/likely don’t make any sense. It’s like Inception, but in real life. Live in 3D. And no Leonardo DiCaprio, that girl is so annoying.

But I want to address some writing that I’ve come across recently,because, well, it is the basis of what fuels Elliot and Isabel – Isabel and I are writers first, everything else next. This is a literary fashion and lifestyle blog, and we are proud of that, as it fulfills somewhat of a niche. Most bloggers actually cannot write for sh*t. We can. And we know it.

So let’s jump right in to the mess.

Example 1: today’s USA Today (haha oh that’s kind of funny, because yesterday’s USA Today would be oxymoronic. Tomorrow’s USA Today won’t exist, because as of 6PM today, the Rapture is occurring which means Isabel and I certainly will not be around, nor will anyone in media).

Back on track, if you’re snobby like us, you’ve just rolled your eyes. USA Today? That’s the newspaper with the pretty weather map on the back page, right? Yes. It is. And that’s how I think it should be, only, after reading but one simple article: Gays At Harvard in 2011 versus 1920. I mean come the f*ck on. The entire premise is ridiculous. Why on earth compare the two? Indeed, it is bigoted that the Dean of Harvard in 1920 expelled gay students, causing some of them to take their own lives, BUT it was 19holysh*t20. Almost 100 years ago. A very different world. Dinosaurs roamed the land and a meteor hit somewhere in Mexico and certain things like, oh say, civil rights movements and progressive thought, began to blossom in the dust cloud and ice age that followed.

My point here is this: yes, in 2011 there are incredibly important issues that still need to be addressed regarding gay rights and acceptance – but, why harken back to such a different (and not to mention dire) time? A time that really has no relevance to where we stand now? It happened, things happened, but I think when speaking on the matter of homosexuality it is important to stay current-and-ahead. Going back only perpetuates and influences the archaic remnants of thought and attitude that society still partially holds on to/has ingrained.

Mind you, the author of this article, soon to be a Harvard graduate, used this phrase: “after injustice, a rainbow.” So no matter what I was going to disagree with him. Barfing the breakfast I didn’t eat all up and over this terrible exercise in forcibly and generically emphatic journalism. “After bad writing, a deletion of the USA Today app from my iPad.” Good riddance.

Just some nice Harvard gays enjoying a nice spring day on Harvard’s nice gay quads.

Example 2, and light-years away in terms of context: Sean Kingston’s hit song “Take You There”

In order to explain and analyze and, duh, criticize this particular example of writing, I’m just going to give you the whole song’s lyrics. With comments. Hunker down, because it’s deep and requires a sh*tf*ck load of reflection.

“We can go to the tropics, sip pina coladas, shorty I could take you there…” Oh wow. Oh wow wow wow. That sounds really nice. Even though he’s insanely fat and makes bad music, I’d maybe date Sean Kingston if he’d be willing to foot the bill to the tropics and supply me with limitless pina coladas.

“Or we can go to the slums, where killers get hung, shorty I could take you there…” Oh… yeah… or that. I mean maybe if I have enough pina coladas in my system we could go to the slums and I’d be down to see a killer get hung. I do believe in justice, but I kind of thought this trip would be about the swim-up bar and snorkeling and light-hearted fun stuff.

“You know I could take you (I could take you…) I could take you (I could take you…) Shorty I could take you there, you know I could take you (I could take you…) I could take you (I could take you…) Shorty I could take you there…” Ugh, yes, I do know, you’re very rich and successful, but I don’t need to be told ten times that you can take me there. I don’t even know where there is yet. Haiti? 

“Baby girl I know it’s rough but come with me, we can take a trip to the hood, it’s no problem girl it’s my city, I could take you there, little kid with guns only 15, roam in the streets up to no good, When gun shots just watch us, run quickly
I could show you where…” This vacation sounded great at first Sean, but you have to understand why I’m a little concerned. I have a baby girl at home. And “little kids with guns only 15″ sounds terrifying, and if you are pretty sure they are going to shoot at us, I am definitely not going to be able to run quickly because A) I’ll be wearing my Cruise 2011 7-inch Louboutin platforms and B ), yeah B ) what the f*ck is wrong with you? 

“As long as you’re with me, Baby you’ll be alright, I’m known in the ghetto, Girl just stay by my side, Or we can leave the slums go to paradise, Baby it’s up to you, It’s whatever you like…” Paradise… might be nice? Or nicer? I mean you say it’s up to me but you keep pushing the ghetto. And if you’re known in the ghetto, what kind of relationship am I getting myself in to? Unless you were like the friendly fresh-produce street vendor who everyone said hi to on their way to slinging crack or gangbanging, well then I’m pretty sure I’ll stay put right here in New York and send you on your merry way.

Okay I’m just going to stop right here. How incredf*ckingbly ridiculous is this song?!!??! I just heard it on 95.5 and, while I used to love in/jam out/sing along to it, I’d never paid attention to the lyrics before. What kind of message is this??!! This is either the most hilarious song ever, or the most poorly worded, or the most ridiculous attempt at glamorizing poverty, or all at once. I am taking a Xanax just because of listening to this song. You probably should too:

So, in closing: two examples of bad writing have been provided. Point is: look at everything critically, if not for the innate humor in whatever it is you’re reading or hearing, let alone the intrinsic mind-sharpening that comes with critical thought. Criticize us! We love it. I want to write about Tina Fey’s new book, but after reading the first page, I’m Tina Fey’d out, and this Xanax is kicking in.

Stay tuned for a pictures only post of Freja Beha Erichsen’s best runway looks over the years.

-Elliot

Hanne Gaby Odiele please marry me! We both live in NYC. Let’s be fwendz. Jack McCullough, indeed, can be part of our exclusive best friend group. Isabel will round out the troupe. We will only tote our PS1′s and we we only go to the King Cole Bar, and we will only wear dirty old t-shirts so everyone stares, but we mustn’t make eye contact with a single person. #fantasyland

-Elliot

Thoughts for today, because I don’t have anything specific to write about:

1) This is better than anything, ever:

2) Galliano would have done a sick couture Fern Gully inspired collection. But he’s not working anymore. Did you know that? :p – (this is an emoticon)

3) Sling those stars around. I want to be young and in love on a dark field somewhere far and away, with whoever it is I’m in love with, looking up at the millions of lights, thinking of nothing.

4) The Standard Miami is my favorite place in the entire world. Get the Banana Pancakes for breakfast and the Cote de Rhone Rose for all the time. www.standardhotels.com

-Elliot