Elliot and Isabel

Cheerio Sundayyyyy

-Isabel

Wizened sigh.

-Elliot

Just discovered this site: STREETFSN.BLOGSPOT.COM, and, it doesn’t totally piss me off. Their most recent post?! Boys:

This fox has an insane jaw-line. Isabel, remember that discussion we had about bed-hopping? BTW, so excited for our sleepover tonight et Les Enfants Terribles.

This fox is named RJ. Isabel and I partied with him once. At Avenue. This might be the funniest thing that has ever been written on this blog/online calligraphy experiment/mess.

Inky foxes. Vintage Chicago Bulls tank tops are the new everything.

Drink up little fox, as you will soon be walking maybe… four runway shows, and even sooner after that, replaced by yet another, younger, thirstier fox. See what I did here regarding male modeling turnover? So sad. So very sad. Who cares.

Lots more so check it one two.

-Elliot Brandolini

It’s a beautiful day. Don’t let it get away. Also, anyone been noticing the resurgence of “Gold Digger” by Kanye West (ew) back on the airwaves? Radio is a silly media vehicle. Blogging is silly too though.

-Elliot

Listen to: Hot Natured

-Isabel Beha Erikson

Hi guys. It’s Tuesday. Tuesday Baby Tuesday. I just wanted to start off this post with a nice, generic salutation, as sh*t is about to get real heavy and real sassy and I thought it’d be fair and decent to ease you in to it…

Now, please be f*cking courteous, and say hi to this specimen:

This DJ is most probably a little bit… special. I will not elaborate further at the moment, as all the proof you need is displayed below in her Style.com interview. I don’t want to name names, because I have faith that you all know how to use Google. And, rest f*cking assured – I put my opinion in when appropriate, which is essentially all the time.

So, you’re about to be an MTV star? 

They were making a documentary and they wanted to do it on three female DJs, each representing something different. The other two are DJ Diamond Kuts, who is a really cute DJ from Philly who is very technically skilled, and DJ Jessica Who?—she does these big clubs in Miami, and I am the fashion DJ. We are all so totally different.

ELLIOT’S TWO CENTS: So, SOMEONE is in need of some serious language lessons. I am a really cute blogger from NYC who is very technically skilled who is also completely unimpressed with your forced air of indifference and who is also completely critical of someone who labels themselves a “fashion DJ.” 

How do you feel about being branded the “fashion” DJ? 

ELLIOT’S QUICK INTERRUPTION: Obviously she feels f*cking great about it. 

Well, I don’t like the whole club scene, it’s not my thing…Musically, with fashion, you can be a little more adventurous. They always want to be educated and they want to hear obscure things, like old English things that are wacky. I don’t like Top 40, Lady Gaga, and Nicki Minaj things. There is something civilized about fashion and art. I actually prefer art events. They are so kooky and really know how to have fun. Everyone is less concerned with what they are wearing and they will let loose. Artists aren’t too cool to dance.

ELLIOT’S POSITION ON THIS ABSOLUTELY RETARDED ANSWER: No one in fashion wants to hear “old English things that are wacky.” I am in fashion, but I’d love to hear “Nicki Minaj things.” By “things,” I assume she means… songs? Because she is a DJ, right? And what do deejays play? Things? Songs? Chess? Lovegames? I need a valium.

And yes, you silly little aye-aye, there is something civilized about art. Well reasoned! A fine example of reductive thought! Cheerio, bitch! And I’d love to meet an event, you know, as an entity that is in and of itself “kooky” and “knows how to have fun.” I’d probably date that event. Surely you meant PEOPLE at those events? What is with you and weird identity and personality assignations? Were you molested as a child? 

NOW, I JUST GIVE UP, AND INSERT MY THOUGHTS RIGHT IN TO HER ANSWERS. SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO NOT TRY:

People have been saying recently that a certain fun factor is missing from the New York party scene—even The New York Times recently piled on. Do you agree?

Yes, I feel like New York is lacking a certain coolness in nightlife. Everyone is so worried about being cool that it has lost its authentic coolness—it’s not organic anymore. HAHAHA. It’s not about the place, it’s got to be about the vibe. I would have loved to be here back in the day—the Andy Warhol times. HAVEN’T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE. I think I’m in the wrong generation. OR THE WRONG BRANCH OF ANIMALIA. London nightlife is so cool and refreshing because it’s based around music. YOU MEAN THINGS?! You go out with friends to see a singer, or a band, and it’s a very cool scene. USE OF THE WORD COOL: 5 TIMES TOO MANY.

Who are some of your favorite designers?

I love Alexander Wang, he’s just the coolest guy. OKAY 6 TIMES TOO MANY. My best friend was his muse, before he got big. He hasn’t changed at all. He’s like a little boy—he dances at parties. WHAT PARTIES ARE YOU USED TO WHERE LITTLE BOYS ARE DANCING?  That’s why he always throws the best parties during fashion week. BECAUSE HE… DANCES? Katie Gallagher, she’s a friend of mine, I love her clothes. When I first discovered her clothes, it was like someone created my dream clothes. WAS THAT WHAT IT WAS LIKE?! Charlotte Olympia shoes. Dominic Jones jewelry, in England, he’s really big. Pamela Love. Chanel, everyone loves Chanel. I DON’T. A lot of vintage.

I feel a little sick.

-Elliot, downtrodden.

It is a simultaneously wonderful and piercingly unfair world in which we get to watch Trinidadian sass-rappers hump motorcycles made of ice, all the while decked out in pink leopard print second-skin catsuits. I say unfair because maybe-just-maybe SOME OF US want to be doing the exact same thing as Nicki Minaj at all given times. Observe:

You know I’ve got a thing for American guys. Sigh. Sickening eyes. Actually I’ve got a thing for Australian guys who may or may not be known round-the-world for their ballet skills. LOOK AT ME SEGUEING. I AM MAKING A SEGUE. Check out this Australian fashionista whose name I care not to know, looking contrast-y and chic in some now overplayed (but still pleasing) Celine in front of Sydney Harbor:

Uh-huh. She works for her money. Should I go to Sydney? Forever? Did you know there is now a direct flight to Sydney from DALLAS? I cannot imagine a longer and more insane flight to be on.

Lastly, look at this spine:

I feel like most people out there would expect me to say something like, “Oh cool! She’s skinny,” (Lisanne de Jong). But, no. This kind of photography is starting to annoy me so much. It’s too common and like… just… annoying! A little blurriness. No clothes. Gross hair. “Black and white.”

Go back to Parsons, and your Chinatown apartment, and your poser-ish take on things. Life isn’t that bad, nor are you that important.

XOXO,

-Elliot Vanderbilt Cooper